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Straight Guy Way Too into 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'
- by David Badner

Boulder, CO - Despite having a 3-month girlfriend and a steady subscription to Maxim magazine, Aaron Malone is "way to into that show 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'", say friends.

"I know that it is a popular show and it has its moments, but I have never see someone obsess over it as much as Aaron," says roommate Hayden Lipman.

"You didn't hear it from me but I'm pretty sure he has a crush on that blond guy, you know…the really flamboyant one who likes touching the straight guys."


Malone's Objects of Affection as Far as We Know

Since the airing of the show in July of 2003, Malone had changed his wardrobe and apartment as well as his demeanor. In addition, Jenny Williams, Malone's girlfriend found a of copy Jane magazine underneath his bed.

"I appreciate the fact that he is trying to improve his look for me, but its getting ridiculous." said Williams.

"The guy sits in front of the TV with a notepad jotting down every other comment. The least he can do is show some evidence that he has at least one testicle, for crying out loud."

Malone's parents have equally expressed their concern and irritation over Aaron's new found appreciation towards "Queerifying" his life.

"It's bad enough that Aaron has spent his life savings on trendy new clothes and 'hip' furniture for his apartment," said Elizabeth Malone, Aaron's mother.

"But he starts lecturing about how painting a wall red will accentuate my stupid dishes, that's when it really starts pissing me off. I liked it better when he was living in squalor; at least then he kept his mouth shut."

Despite the backlash of criticism Malone was quick to defend himself.

"Before the show started I was disgusting. My apartment has no colors, my hair had no highlights and my clothes consisted of ripped jeans with my tighty whities peaking through. I have no problem showing off my new look to my friends and I am comfortable with my sexuality…girlfriend!"

He then quickly ended the interview by saying 'don't go there' and raising his hand, for talking to.

"The truth is that I will support Aaron on whatever he plans to do with his clothes, apartment and anything else that comes up," said Williams.

"I just hope Bravo doesn't come up with any brilliant new shows that will kill my sex life."




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