When Bloomberg was informed of the NORML ads graced with His Honor's face, the mayor was less than thrilled.
"I am less than thrilled they're using my name. I suppose there's that First Amendment that gets in the way of me stopping it," Bloomberg told reporters Monday "Plus there hasn't been anything better than grabbing that voluptuous can."
The campaign includes a full-page ad in the New York Times on April 9, as well as posters for bus stops, buses, and phone booths. In addition, NORML supporters will be giving out spanking paddles with Bloomberg's face.
"We're not asking Mayor Bloomberg to change the law," said NORML founder and Executive Director Keith Stroup. "We're simply asking him to end the double standard by which the 'open-hand slap' and the ever popular 'pinch and squeeze' violations are handled with a lawsuit and possibly firing."
"I would hope the Mayor realizes we're not out to embarrass him," said Stroup, "but rather that NORML is acknowledging the Mayor's honesty and uncontrollable horniness is a major step forward."
"We picked this city because of this great quote," as well as for its outrageous record for lawsuits against in-work molesters every year", Allen St. Pierre, Executive Director of NORML, told Grabass.com. St. Pierre noted that after hearing such insulting silliness such as "I didn't inhale…her scent," "I was brushing off lint" and "I was licking the dirt off her ear" more from a variety of US politicians, Bloomberg's candor was refreshing.
"Most molestations in the workplace have been associated with better productivity, and increase of blood flow within the body," said John P. Morgan, Md. "It is time co-workers stop being selfish and welcome popular office games of the past such as 'guess what's in my pants' and 'who's wearing a bra'. If not for yourselves than for the health of others.
Much of the press pitched hardball but not all that relevant questions at the NORML representatives. "Doesn't in-office molestation lead to harsher things such as Adultery and in some cases Prostitution?" asked one reporter.
"Man, I hope so," said Stroup emphatically, "and if some of the finer women in the office want to join in on the fun…well, that is the American dream."
Although the Mayor is unhappy with being the poster child for NORML, Bloomberg will not challenge the proposed ad.
"With everything that has been going on in the world we have greater things to worry about than some silly ad," said Bloomberg in an exclusive interview with Kathy Rosenberg of New York Magazine. "New York has greater problems that need to be dealt with and we must direct our focus in the increase in security and bringing more money to our great city."
I hope that there will be mutual respect among others, just as you and I respect each other," concluded Bloomberg. "Now if you can please bend over and pick up that pen I just dropped between my legs."
| 
